The Final Destination

(please note this was how i saw the movie if i made a mistake DONT piont it out... or you can i guess...)


THIS MOVIE SUCKS! ITS THE WORST PIECE OF SHIT IVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE, and i sat through batman and robin! I dont know who was stupider, the people who made the movie for making it, or me for sitting down and watching it on my computer! For those of you who havnt figured it out i am taking about none other the fourth, and hopefully final, Final destination movie, THE Final destination!

First a little history for those of you who have NEVER seen a final destination movie, movie 1, kid forsees a plane crash gets off plane with some other people plane crashes and everyone dies but them then they all die in the most inplausable and most impossable and gruesome way imaginable... movie 2: girl forsees major car wreck gets out of car hysterical followd by other people wanting to know what the fuck shes doing getting out of her car in an interstate major car crash happens killing everyone but them then they all die in the most inplausable and most impossable and gruesome way imaginable... movie 3: kid forsees roller coaster accident they get off roller coaster with friends and... do i even have to finish this sentence?

Soooooooooooo imma tell you about the fourth, and final if those assholes know whats good for them, final destination movie IN DETAIL!!!

So the movie starts off um... at a racetrack... ok im game so far... where they um... race, when we get to see all the kids and onlookers watching the race... i have to note that there is NO character development in this movie beyond them giving the names of the kids... HALFWAY THROUGH THE MOVIE... HELLOOOOOOO... so one of the kids makes a remark that hes not there to see the race, hes there to see a crash... subtle... oh hey you'll NEVER guess what hqappens next! if you guessed that theres a crash and everyone dies thus ending the movie! your dreaming... if you guessed theres a crash, the kid realises he forsaw the crash, and leaves with his friends then theres a crash... you probably didnt need to think about that at all...

ok so they leave after the kid sees a ton of implausable and improbable deaths and... one of the survivors dies right afterward, and i mean RIGHT afterward... like... they were barely out of the racetrack when she gets her head and shoulder/arm taken out by, im not kidding... a tire... yeah... a tire flies over an entire stadium filled with people and just HAPPENS to hit ONE person out of a group of about 6 in the middle of an empty street and rips off her head and arm... yeah probable... but that death is more probable then any of the others in this movie! after that we get a rascist guy who lost his wife in the crash try to kill the guard who stopped the idiot from going into the explosion to save his wife... the guy dies while trying to light a cross on fire in the guards front yard and it somehow ends in him being dragged down the street by his own picked that also seemed to light him on fire... so let me clear this up a little... a rascist bastard gets lit on fire, by a truck, that then drives itself down the street after tieing the bastard up in a chain... i swear im not doing any drugs of any kind... so after that scene we get the kid say he can see how everyone is gunna die, but instead of telling everyone right away he decides to hang out with his girlfriend! after that we get a scene of two idiot kids throwing rocks at a sign while some guy watches them, tells them they are idiots, then MOWS THE LAWN OVER THE ROCKS... so the kids mom goes into a buety spa where death decides to fucking cock tease us! a can of hairspray gets super heated and explodes, a fan falls right in front of the women, the chair shes sitting on falls while shes getting her hair cut almost cutting her throat! *takes a deep breath* AND SHE DOESNT DIE!!!!! till she walks out the door taking a rock in the face... this WOULD be a probable death but... HER VAN WAS IN FRONT OF THE LAWNMOWER!!! how the hell did the rock hit her through a van? so after she dies the idiot kid tells all the survivors they are all gunna die and he knows how... so they actually believe him! and decide that instead of try to stop it they all go and live their lives to the fullest! so one guy goes to play golf and get laid, a girl goes to um... wash her car... the kids girlfriend hangs out with him... and the kid and guard go to try and save someone... resulting in a van ALMOST killing the guy they were trying to save but not killing him... then a propane tank shoots out of a garage and kills him anyway! yeah... then the kid forsees the guy who went to get laid and the girl who went to wash her car both die from water related accidents... then we get to see that guy getting laid... no i dont mean like 'safe' movie sex where you get to see them snuggling under a blanket and they say they had sex... no i mean... you get to see them bouncing on each other, you get to see a naked girl... i guess shes 'hot' but i wouldnt know becasue of my sexual prefrences... anyways... the kid tries to warn both the guy getting laid and the chick washing her car but the guys cell phone is wrecked JUST as he calls... and the chick hangs up on him! then through bad writing the guy jumps into a pool only to, not kidding here, get his ass sucked to the bottom of the pool and making him incapable of getting out... but dont worry he doesnt drown! No that would make sense... after all he was only under water for like 10 minutes! and i guess the pools 'drain' was very selective after all a poolfull of people were there but it only sucked him onto it... and it also seemed to be on suck instead of just drain cus it, again not kidding, sucked all his internal organs out through his ass... dont ask me how thats even possable... and at the same time thats happening the chick who was washing her car gets stuck in her car, her sun roof opens up and wont close, a pipe in the carwash breaks open and begins to flood her car... hang on... *pushes button* lets try that again shall we? and at the same time thats happening the chick who was washing her car gets stuck in her car*wah wah wah* , her sun roof opens up and wont close*wah wah wah*, a pipe in the carwash breaks open and begins to flood her car *wah wah wah* she cracks open her sunroof enough to stick her head out *wah wah wah* but then is almost decapitated by, dead serious, sponges *wah wah wah* only to be saved by the kid, his girlfriend, and the gaurd by haveing them SLAM INTO HER CAR AT FULL SPEED *wah wah wah* THEN PULLING HER OUT OF HER CAR ONLY TO GET HER ALMOST KILLED BY A FALING PIPE *wah wah wah* whew... *pushes button* my wah wah mahcine is billowing smoke after that... anyways... they save her only to get home in time to relax... then the gaurd tries to commit suicide and after a full 24 hours of trying he cant kill himself, ok seriously is anything in this movie coherent? i mean death wants them all to die right? so the gaurd is trying to commit suicide but cant... WHY THE FUCK NOT? JUST LET HIM DO IT!!! bleh... anyways they think that because the guy COULDNT kill himself that they are saved... then the TV goes on and anounces that there was one more survivor that wasnt with them and he is in the hospital, why is he there? i dont know... how did he survive? i dont know... is this movie almost over? unfortunetly no... ok so they go to the stupidest hospital in the world, and hear me out befaore oyu say anything... a doctor is running a bath for a cripled patient when he is called out of the room, and instead of turning the water off he lets it run, then within minutes the entire room is flooded and the criple begs for help but i guess no one cares cus they all walk right by... i also guess that the room is airtight cus the water wasnt leaking out of the room... so the kid and guard get to the room with the other survivor who i guess was fine cus he was crawling out of his bed and around the room when, heres a shock, the bathtub from the floor above falls through the floor... yeah... im going to go the THAT hospital when im hurt! so the kids girlfriend and that chick they saved go to the mall and see a movie as the guard and kid rush to go find them, finally, 4 people left i can almost see the ending credits! so as they are walking the gaurd is hit by an ambulence... again stupidest hspital in the world, that seems to make him explode after getting hit, and the kid rushes into the theatre, grabs his girlfriend and they try to escape... and here... is the most implausable deaths in the movie... first WHO THE FUCK KEEP A STASH OF EXPLOSIVE CHEMICALS IN A FUCKING MALL? and to make it even better, A FUCKING THEATRE? so yeah... theres a stash of explosive stuff in the mall that blows up that chick says that everythings fine and wants them to piss off so she can finish the movie, then gets a faceful of nails and fire from the explosion the kid and his girl try to escape but the escalators explode too somehow, dont ask i dont know, and he is holding onto his girls arm as she slowly lowers into the gears of the escalators thus prolonging her suffering, such a nice boy! then the worst possable thing in the world happens... we find out it was just another fucking premotition! FUCK YOU MOVIE!!! JUST END!!!!! *sighs* so we get to see the guard get killed again by the ambulence, the kid rushes to the theatre, but instead of telling everyone its about to blow, he goes to the backroom and puts out the fire... wow that was smart! then through um... magic i guess... the fire starts back up and a nail gun falls nailsing the kid to tha wall... somehow he grabs a stick thats on fire and sets off the sprinkler system, that didnt activate the first time because? and puts out the fire! then, i swear to god, the movie cuts out like the credits are about to roll, then suddenly cuts back in to that kid, in a cast, on the street... yeah how was he rescued? whe was he saved? when did he get the cast? HELLO? MOVIE? oh who gives a shit its almost over this time... so hes walking down the street where he points out that some constrution workers are using unsafe tools... and instead of fixing it they just keep working! he sist down with the two girls to have a coffee when *gasp* he sees pictures of all the past locations in the movie! including the pool, the theatre, and some writing on a table we dont get to see! then he says, i quote, "what if we didnt change anything?" only to... hang on... *pushes button* as the scaffold from the workers falls over *wah wah wah* causing a truck to swerve out of the way *wah wah wah* and crash through the window killing all three kids and i swear to god, kills all three kids IN WIREFRAME!!!!! i dont know why! the movie just decided to go all wireframe on us before it was over! do i care? no! NOW ITS OVER RUN!!!

seriously... thi was the worst piece of shit ive ever seen! and i saw some horrable shit in my life! want my opinion? watch the first final destination and thats it, it was ok but everything after that just sucked! now if youll exuse me... i have to go get ready for school in less then a day! *packs up 4 notebooks, my scetchpad, 2 pencils and an eraser, and a porfolio* ok done! see oyu suckers at school!